my mom has gone through a huge obstacle ; running over a person and essentially killing her. the trial is slow, she is most likely to not be persecuted any charges, but she’s paranoid and needs support. shes a troubled soul, shes always had symptoms of bipolar disorder, and now the symptoms have become true and evident. but im not a doctor, and can’t diagnose her nor can i convince her to see a psychiatrist, ever; this has been suggested, but its NOT AN OPTION.

she’s going through a tough time. i try to communicate, but she’s still bipolar about everything; we communicate well one minute, she criticizes me or tries to pick a fight the next. she arouses me with insults so i can fight back; but i dont, and she sufficates , i see it. she’s 40, in the eve of menopause, and has always been on her defense against anything except :

when she came to california, she stayed with my aunt, who has a husband, who basically, is a sex addict, he fucked her. she FELL IN LOVE. this has been going on for 8 years. i resently discovered them fucking in my room. yeah, she didnt have her defense on that one. she thought he would leave his family for her; his friends, his wife, his 2 year old daughter, his mother, EVERYONE for her. and HOW FUCKING DARE HER try to convince him to leave my 2 year old cousin, just HOW FUCKING DARE HER. ;(
since we moved out of my aunts house, because i did live there, and i love my family so so so much… my uncle in law, who took us to fancy places and restaurants just to get in my mom’s pants and some money …30,000 $$$ loans to help his business. okay, no big deal, but he started to completely cut himself out of her life. uummm, this triggers some MAJOR suffication and failed attempts at angering me. she wants so much attention from me when i simply dont want to be angry at her that she arouses me until i finally tell her i dont want to fight and then she tries to hit me. im 15. im a girl. and im educating myself to get the hell out of this place. dont get me wrong, my mom loves me and has done wonderful things for me such as getting me out of colombia. but consider me pippa lee- if youve seen the movie. (the mom) in pippa lee is bipolar, she has done nothing, she loves her daughter, but pippa leaves her because she is intoxicated with her crap. basically im pippa, without the guts.

anyway, recently its been horrible, her life seems duller by the day, my life is being affected, and dont tell me to go with my friends or stay away from her as much as possible, she RARELY lets me see them.

my uncles have gone on vacation to idaho. she is especially mad my uncle in law in going with his wife, daughter and mother.

she has told me they are not my family and to never talk to them .

I LOVE MY UNCLE not my uncle in law BUT MY UNCLE.

my uncle is 23 and amazing and i love him like a brother.

she is exiling me from seeing or talking to him.

is this right?

Im 16 years old and I have a feeling my aunt(s) may be prejudice.

Back Story: So my aunts grew up in I don’t know the 60’s or something in a small town in the middle of Georgia and I’m able to understand that they probably have went through alot on the matter of racism. I probably wouldn’t even know about my aunts ugly ways if my mother wouldn’t have died. After her death I was raised by my father and with the help of my aunts and since then I’ve started to realize how they actually are, and it truly bothers me.

One aunt in particular, is, how I see it, the worst of them [even worst Im closest to her so i here the things she says all the time] She’s been that way so long I cant even remember how I first noticed she was prejudice

Example 1: My cousin and I were eating dinner at the table with my aunt eating dinner, when my cousin decided to tempt my aunt by bringing up the subject of race.We decided to tease her about bringing home white boys and dating them [ oh yah, Im black so uh yah..continues..] and she just continued to tell us not to and changed the subject. Until my cousin asked my aunt what she would do if she married a white man, my aunt then gave us one of those looks she gives us and simply said she wouldn’t come to her wedding.

Example 2: We recently attended a family cruise, my dad couldn’t make it due to work, I had to ride down to Florida with my aunts. On our way we stopped by a restaurant to rest and grab a bite. While walking in my cousin handed me a tray with cups that were fulled to the rim and i jokingly began to complain about how heavy the tray was. When a nice young white waitress asked if I needed any help with my tray, I gave her my tray and she lead me to the table. The dinner went on when I noticed my drink was getting low, just then the polite waitress came by and refilled my glass. By the end of our lunch or whatever it came time to put down a tip. My aunt put down $15 but she look a bit hesitant. She said to my other aunt she wanted to make sure the black waitress [we also had a black waitress] was able to get the tip, she even began talking about giving the tip to the black watress herself. This is when I spoke up. I said the black waitress and the white waitress were BOTH working hard I even metioned what the white waitress did for me. I continued to complain when she finally said she hould split it $10 for the black waitress $5 for the white. I wa so disgusted I walked away. Later I caughtmy aunt giving the black waitress all the tip personally. I felt to bad for the other waitress and I was so upset that everyone was treating this as if it was normal. I complained to my cousin how I thought I felt like I was going insane.

Example 3: Before the boarding the cruise ship I noticed a cute white guy with tattoos. I ouldnt stop looking because I thought he was so adorable. My cousins and I were hanging out around the cruise ship when we came across the basketball court were we saw a few guys playing. The guy with the tattoos was also playing. We decided to sit and watch. The next day we went again but this time to the actual court. My cousins began to play around with the boys being my shy self I sat back and watched. I couldnt help but feel the boy with tattoos looking at me but I just rushed the feeling off thinking he wouldnt want to mess with someone like myself haha. The next day my cousins began to complain about how they wanted to tan and me being me I wanted to stay away from the sun as much as possible, so due to my boredom I went to to cruise dock just above the basket ball court to watch the guys play, and of course as you would’ve guessed the boy with the tattoos was there. I watched their game but also glance over at him from time to time. When I saw him look up at me and smile. I instantly blushed and curled up into my shell haha. He contined to play and we continued to trade stares. He then dissappered. I looked for him but he was gone. I then left and went to check up on my cousins. They were laughing as usual but then they told me they told my aunt that I was off messing with some white guy and how upset she got. I laughed it off and we joked about how my aunt was going to flip out when she saw me…

Example 3 continued…: I went back upstiars to the dock were I saw the guy with tattoos sitting in my spot. I quickly turned around because one I was to flipping shy and two I was afaid one of my family members catching us hanging out. So I decided to go back to my aunts room with my cousins were my aunt was freaking out, she began to question me and give me funny looks, my aunts friend who i supose didnt know her to well began to ask why it was a big deal, anyways I told my aunt that my cousins were only joking.

Example 4: It was the night of the ships big party and me and my cousins wanted to hang out and watch them set up. Some of my other aunts stopped by and began to ask us if we could do something
some got cut off ignore the last example..FUCK YUU YAHOO!!! anyways questions basically how can I stop them from their annoying ways??

My fiance and I are getting married in las vegas. his family, and my fiance and I, are all in LA and mine are on the east coast. As a result, I will have 4 family members attending. We had originally wanted only immediate family to keep cost down because our budget is a factor. My MIL would like to invite their secondary family because they are all close ( aunts uncles etc) but that would make our guest count go from 15 to 45 which, obviously ,significantly burdens my parents financially- and I feel unfairly because our family is only 4 people. We are not going on a honeymoon, and are not having a rehearsal dinner so the traditional “groom’s parents responsibility” is not a part of the occasion and that would leave my parents paying for everything with no contribution from his family on a technicality of “etiquette”. Also, his family is a little different in their ideas from what we want to do. My sister in law was married in vegas as well and they rented a conference room and had pizza, which is fine but I wanted a small guest list so that we could go out to eat at a restaurant and I could enjoy vegas and being dressed up. Nothing extravagant but one of the restaurants in the casino. 15 people we could pay for no problem but 30 additional people is a big deal and I dont want to have to sacrifice doing it their way and, like, ordering pizza. I want it to feel like a wedding not superbowl sunday. I really dont think I am being a bridezilla to want to eat dinner at a nicer restaurant and dont want to come across as thinking how they did it isnt good enough for me but we just cant afford to add that many people and I feel uncomfortable asking them to do more for me than they did their daughter simply because my taste is different. But also dont feel it is fair for my parents to foot a huge bill when my family wont even be there beyond the two of them and my brother, I mean its their sons wedding too so it shouldnt be all on my parents. We are not going over the top. But the venue cost doubles with that many more peolple. What would have been $$700 is now $1750 because our original venue only accomadates 15 and to allow for that many people we have to change the location and the bigger space is more money. What was originally going to cost maybe $2700 - 700 for ceremony, 1000 for food, 100 for dress and flowers ( not including hotels) will jump up to at least to to 7500 because the tasting menus at the restaurants and the reception packages at the hotels all run 100 per person. We are only doing the ceremony and the dinner/reception so the budget basically triples. any suggestions for how to handle this?

oh and my family has the added expense of flying cross country, not to mention my mom is buying my dress and putting us up for a week at the venetian so we can go shopping together for a dress and getting mine and my SIL ( matron of honor) hair done and my daughters flower girl dress and the flowers and invitations. Granted she is treating us to vegas because she wants to be part of the dress selection and we live on opposite sides of the country, but stil she is already going to a lot of expense.

I would like to add that I actually really like all of the family, they are great and we would love them to attend but we cant afford it, would it be totally out of the question for them to join us for dinner at their choice but their own expense since its not exactly a traditional wedding anyway or shoudl his parents offer to foot the bill since it is their request?

for my birthday my parents got a limo to take my friends and I to the restaurant we are having my party and we have it for two hours. The restaurant is 25-30 minutes away so we have plenty of time to kill. what kinds of places should we stop at on the way to the restaurant that would be fun?

At first I was thinking we could stop to get ice cream or something and one or my aunts recommends stopping at a park to take pictures. Any other suggestions or does that sound alright?

Hello (:
Well, when i was 12 years old (im 14 now) i started having dreams about this guy that i have never in my life met he had black hair and black eyes. So, i turned 13 and i told my dad that i wanted to go to puerto vallarta. I have some aunts there from my moms side of the family. I stayed with them, and then she took me to this really pretty river and thre was a restaurant there so we ate and we were laughing like crazy cause she was saying that she couldnt speak english well and suddenly the guy from my dream just passed smiling at me. I swear, my jaw practically hit the floor.

And my aunt is like wow, he is cuteee.. and im like .. yeah, he is. When i saw him i didnt even realize that i was smiling. And my first thought was, go up there and talk to him!!! he looked like me but in a boy version (sounds funny, but its true)

So my aunt is like, grab the car keys and go down there. So i did, but he was already coming up so i didnt talk to him. He was in a table with his family, and me and my aunt passed cause she wanted to show me a part of the river and he dropped his fork when he saw me and i just giggled. But it was so weird! He was coming my way and i started doing the same and then my auny said: Come on, lets go!

I never saw him again. I still keep having these dreams. I cried so much, i felt like i knew him and even more. Why am i feeling this way????
I want to let it go, but i just can’t.
Any explanations?

Hello (:
Well, when i was 12 years old (im 14 now) i started having dreams about this guy that i have never in my life met he had black hair and black eyes. So, i turned 13 and i told my dad that i wanted to go to puerto vallarta. I have some aunts there from my moms side of the family. I stayed with them, and then she took me to this really pretty river and thre was a restaurant there so we ate and we were laughing like crazy cause she was saying that she couldnt speak english well and suddenly the guy from my dream just passed smiling at me. I swear, my jaw practically hit the floor.

And my aunt is like wow, he is cuteee.. and im like .. yeah, he is. When i saw him i didnt even realize that i was smiling. And my first thought was, go up there and talk to him!!! he looked like me but in a boy version (sounds funny, but its true)

So my aunt is like, grab the car keys and go down there. So i did, but he was already coming up so i didnt talk to him. He was in a table with his family, and me and my aunt passed cause she wanted to show me a part of the river and he dropped his fork when he saw me and i just giggled. But it was so weird! He was coming my way and i started doing the same and then my auny said: Come on, lets go!

I never saw him again. I still keep having these dreams. I cried so much, i felt like i knew him and even more. Why am i feeling this way????
I want to let it go, but i just can’t.
Any explanations?

So, my mom and I have started doing some planning. She wants to throw me a bridal shower, but I thought family members weren’t supposed to do that, I thought people say that’s gift grubbing or whatever. I suggested that and she seemed REALLY hurt, and apparently family threw hers and her mother’s before her. Apparently her MIL even threw her another shower, and my grandma is generally the manners snob of the family. Should I follow family tradition even if it is not typical and just let her do it? We are having a pretty small wedding and it’s mostly just family. I was thinking a compromise might be perhaps she works on it WITH my MOH and we hold it at MOH’s house or a restaurant or something so she’s still throwing it but it maybe looks a little less so. I’m not sure what I should do.

Normally I am more apt to follow family tradition than normal conventions, but I know people are so touchy about gifts, and my mom wants to invite a lot of family friends who may not be as adjusted to our traditions. Fiance and I only know 25 people each to invite and it looks like now we’ll have at least 100. I don’t mind at all as long as I know the people, but I feel like that may be a game changer in terms of what rules we should follow.
Some of you are misunderstanding. The issue is that my mom wants to throw a bridal shower, I thought it was inappropriate to have a family member throw a shower. It’s not that I can’t make these decisions myself, but I am trying to weigh family tradition vs conventional tradition and find some sort of a balance, or a way to tell my mom she can’t throw it without hurting her feelings.

I was only planning on inviting immediate family, grandparents, aunts, and cousins– which is about 25 people each for my fiance and I, but my mom suggested a few other family members and close family friends that she thought would be hurt if we excluded them. I only excluded them because I thought we were paying the whole wedding ourselves and we couldn’t afford to add anyone else, but my mom offered to absorb the cost of the additional guests. I don’t mind, or else I wouldn’t allow it. She is not deciding for me who is invited. These guests would not be included if I did not want them there.
For the record, I meant she wanted to add more relatives to the actual wedding, I have no idea who she wants to invite to the shower and since I’m not throwing it I don’t really care who is invited. Between my friends, close relatives, and a few lady friends I am envisioning like 15 people. I would agree 100 people would be a little on the tasteless side.

Ok so, I’ve been trying to get a job for half a year now and nothing. Just a restaurant job/grocery store job and I will be happy but no luck. I have no experience so I believe that is why I’m not being hired. I put that I want to work full time or part time and my resume looks pretty nice. I try everytime to get a hold of the manager because most people see me as a nice/good guy but still nothing… It’s definitely tougher to get a job these days than before. What else should I be doing?

Again, I’m 18 and not currently in school.
my community service is working at a thrift shop.
and I used to work at my aunts business company doing filing/errands. And I did babysitting. That’s really all I have. :[
what I wanted was to work over the summer but my summer has mostly been TRYING to get a job..

Ok so, I’ve been trying to get a job for half a year now and nothing. Just a restaurant job/grocery store job and I will be happy but no luck. I have no experience so I believe that is why I’m not being hired. I put that I want to work full time or part time and my resume looks pretty nice. I try everytime to get a hold of the manager because most people see me as a nice/good guy but still nothing… It’s definitely tougher to get a job these days than before. What else should I be doing?

Again, I’m 18 and not currently in school.

my community service is working at a thrift shop.
and I used to work at my aunts business company doing filing/errands. And I did babysitting. That’s really all I have. :[
What I wanted was to work over the summer but my summer has mostly been TRYING to get a job..

Ok so, I’ve been trying to get a job for half a year now and nothing. Just a restaurant job/grocery store job and I will be happy but no luck. I have no experience so I believe that is why I’m not being hired. I put that I want to work full time or part time and my resume looks pretty nice. I try everytime to get a hold of the manager because most people see me as a nice/good guy but still nothing… It’s definitely tougher to get a job these days than before. What else should I be doing?

Again, I’m 18 and not currently in school.

my community service is working at a thrift shop.
and I used to work at my aunts business company doing filing/errands. And I did babysitting. That’s really all I have. :[
What I wanted was to work over the summer but my summer has mostly been TRYING to get a job..
I would do errands such as answering phone calls, getting coffee ect.
im from america and its just about spring here as well