Open Question: Please help! Is this a good narrative essay?
This is my first narrative essay. Please tell me what I can do to improve this. Anything is helpful. Sorry the grammar is not perfect, I did this in a rush.
My first visit to Tokyo was a life changing experience. I did not want to go to Tokyo and I expected it to be a dull and boring trip, but I was provided with an experience of a lifetime and a new view on life.
Walking out of the air conditioned train station with my mother, a blast of hot humid air surprised me and nearly pushing me backwards. As I walked out onto the sidewalk, I gazed up to the sky and saw many tall glass-plated skyscrapers.
“Mom!”, I exclaimed, “what are these tall buildings for?”
“Well Kurt”, she replied, “these are office buildings, where businessmen work.”
“Will I ever work in one of these buildings?” I asked.
“If you work hard in school and try your best you will one day” she explained.
Walking down the street, I was surprised by the hustle and bustle of city life, the amount of people on the sidewalk and the amount of cars on the roads creating a never ending traffic jam. The sounds of hammering from constructions sites, the loud blasting music from stores and restaurants, the sound of cars honking, people talking and advertising campaigns was like music to my ears. These were the real sounds of a big city. Walking around Tokyo and taking in the sights and sounds, as sweat ran down my forehead, drenching my shirt, I was speechless. The city felt like a never ending maze with streets that led to streets upon streets. Walking past an alley, I noticed homeless people digging through dumpsters and sleeping in old, dirty stained clothing.
“Mom, why are those people homeless?” I asked.
“Because they do not have a job and do not have any money,” she explained.
“I don’t want to end up like that when I am older,” I added.
“Work hard, get a good paying job and make lots of money. Then, you will not have to worry about being homeless,” she stated.
After walking around parts of Tokyo, my mother and I walked to the nearest train station, which was crowded with people as usual. Buying train tickets was very confusing. There were so many flashing lighted buttons the ticket machine looked like a Christmas tree. Finally, after purchasing the tickets, we made our way over to the train which was filled beyond its doors. Two men, wearing white gloves and police like uniforms, pushed people into the train as they tried to get everyone in. After the chaos of getting onto the train was done, I could only notice how full the train was.
“Why are there so many people on the train,” I asked quietly.
“Because most of these people are going to and from their jobs,” my mom explained.
The train was like a giant sauna and there were so many people no one could move. Luckily, our stop was next and I did not have to bear the train ride any longer.
The walk to Tokyo Tower was peaceful and refreshing. The route to the tower was through one of the few parks in Tokyo and it felt like I was in the middle of a forest, not in a city. I could hear the branches swaying in the wind, the birds singing and the bugs buzzing. As I approached the tower and looked up, I was impressed by how the tower stood out like a diamond in the rough. As the elevator went up, the city began to emerge before my eyes and I felt at ease to be out of all the chaos. I felt like I was on top of the world looking down at a never ending concrete jungle. Looking out at the view, I felt mesmerized by all the tall buildings.
“What kind of people live at the top those tall buildings,” I asked, as I kept my eyes glued to the view.
“People who have worked hard all their life,” answered my mom.
“Why do they try so hard?,” I retorted.
“Because you only live once and you should do everything you can to make the most out of life,” my mother stated, hoping that I will do as she says.
Starring at the view, I was impressed and inspired. Just like the never ending view of the city, I realized that there is a never ending amount of opportunities and possibilities in life.
In conclusion, my visit to Tokyo turned out to be more than a trip. The visit changed me as a person, taught me what was important in life and that I should work hard for what I want because things do not come easily. In addition, my visit to Tokyo showed me that we only have one life, therefore, we should work hard and make the most of it.
Tags: Advertising Campaigns, Bustle, Dumpsters, First Narrative, Homeless People, Humid Air, Lots Of Money, Music To My Ears, Narrative Essay, Office Buildings, Open Question, Real Sounds, Sights And Sounds, Skyscrapers, Sound Of Cars, Tall Buildings, Tall Glass, Traffic Jam, Train Station, Walking Down The Street