Yes, you read this correctly. I am transitioning my anatomy from male to female. Not wanting to accidentally internalize any transphobia I may be harboring, I felt it was important to affirm my condition to others to make sure they knew I was not an ordinary female, but “a Transsexual.”
So I’ve been asking people if they prefer to see and refer to me as “a transsexual”, or as “a female”, and the responses have been very discouraging to say the least…
- (My electrologist) “Erica, I don’t see anything but a female when I look at you. I haven’t for a long time. You do speak like a woman. Most of my clients in the community don’t.”
- (My therapist) “Erica, you ARE a woman.”
- (My youngest sister) “I always knew something like this was going on. You’ve always been like a girl your whole life.”
- (My closest female friend) “Trans-whatever… people are so hung up on labels. It was a little hard at first but now I just see you as my girlfriend… my best friend.”
- (My closest male friend) “well, it’s hard to not think of you as a guy, but I guess with time… we’ll see. No, I don’t think I’d call you a transsexual. Just give me some time with the whole name thing.”
- (Client #1) “If you feel you’re a woman, then you’re a woman. Why would I tell you you aren’t? People can be so stupid. What difference does it make?”
- (Client #2) “I’ve heard of the word, but I don’t think it matters. I think it matters how you see yourself. I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”
- (My Aunt) “Don’t be ridiculous. You know you’re a woman. I think you’re a woman. Don’t forget, you have to call me every week!”
- (Friend #1) “I’d rather call you “duuuuude” than “a transsexual.”
- (GRS Surgeon Dr. Christine McGinn) “Well we call it gender confirmation surgery because it confirms your gender.
- (My personal doctor) “I’m never sure what the right word is… I have a woman in the next room who’s also doing this, but she’s going the other way. Too bad I can’t switch your parts. LOL!” (My doctor wishes he was a stand-up comic.)
- (My doctor’s PA) “well it’s easier to just see you as female.”
- (My closest male friends ex-wife) “if you’ve felt like this your whole life than you obviously must be a girl. I mean, I think it’s a condition, but I think you are who you think you are.”
- (My landlady) “Whatever makes you happy. We’ll call you whatever you like.”
- (Owners of a local restaurant) “is that what they call it… transsexual? I didn’t know that. I’d just think it’s more polite to call you a woman, right? Why do you care what I think anyway?”
So now what? Should I start to affirm that I’m “a transsexual” every time I encounter someone? I hate to make people uncomfortable. Shouldn’t I just let them see me as they see me? People tell me it’s so important to not deny my transsexualism, but it’s so hard when everyone around me seems to do just that.
I would like to thank everyone for proving what I feel is the most important point when it comes to Transition. This question was a deliberate attempt at sarcasm. Of course I don’t want to be seen as “a Transsexual.” I just wanted to make a point, namely……
WE WHO TRANSITION ARE NOT TRANSSEXUALS!
We are males and females who correct a physical condition called Transsexualism.
I’m glad to see all these responses confirm EXACTLY what I’ve believed in my heart and in my head from day #1.
You are all fantastic (well almost all.)